A guy I knew at Lake of the Ozarks, in the throes of divorce and suffering the usual stress, decided a night ride in his go-fast would soothe the anxiety. He powered up the twins and spent the better part of the evening blazing through hard-over turns and roaring hole shots until, upon clearing one of his plowed up wakes, he smacked down hard, splitting the hull. His rig sank out from under him, eliminating one of the bones of contention in the divorce, and when he swam ashore he realized it: Speed had soothed him.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Reports surfaced that the zodiac would change due to Earth’s shift on its axis, my concern was not for the status of my sign; I don’t care about it, except in cocktail conversations. What I cared about was whether the first day of spring would move forward or backward. Moving spring’s first day later would make me cranky. It would cut into my boating.

I woke up the Saturday morning before writing this to the sound of songbirds — many more songbirds than in the summertime chorus. That’s thanks to the fact that, while I’m sleeping in Florida with my windows open, 70 percent of you reading this are shivering under blankets or huddled by fireplaces. But your songbirds have migrated here. All of them.

And they’re crapping on my boat!

As you can tell from the list below, reception issues because of the switch to digital TV are rampant. According to Don Henry, Director of Marine Product Group of Shakespeare, stations were not necessarily given signal strength comparable to their analog broadcast power and many stations still cannot broadcast to their original market. That may not seem like a big deal to a TV audience that relies almost solely on cable or satellite TV, but in truth, the key to free press and free speech is equal access to the airwaves.