Two more good old boys, this time from Arkansas, are bitching about how strenuous bass fishing is. You have to sit on some dinky barely padded seat or, worse, stand. So they put matching La-Z-Boy recliners in their little boat. It might have worked, too, if they both didn't decide to recline at the same time - and on the same side of the boat. At least that's what the police figure.
An even greater source of comfort for me are case files from marine insurance companies. Not great literature, but if you're ever feeling bad about yourself, needing stories of morons gone amok, they'll pep you right up. They are also certifiably true. Although this one sounds too good to be real.
One night on a New York lake a skipper tucks down below, turning the helm over to his guest with instructions to "head for the red light" - meaning a distant marker. But there's more than one red light, and the guest chooses the wrong one. With the owner still below, the boat bounces up and over a rock jetty and lands on some railroad tracks as a train's red light disappears in the distance. But it gets better. As the two walk around the boat to survey the extraordinary scene a second train comes along and pulverizes what's left.
There are more stories like this. In fact, they never end. Which is why, if I see you outside the inlet and turn the other way, you shouldn't be insulted. I see dumb people.