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• Catch a Humongous Billfish Offshore fishing is the ultimate trip. Catching a big one and having the humanity to release it for another day is the ultimate gesture. You'll have the best chance off Kona on Hawaii's Big Island.
• Learn to Row A basic boating skill. When pulling, bury the blade so its top is just below the water. You can't be officially "salty" and not know how to row. Plus, it builds your back, legs, and pecs.
• Get Your Captain's License You need one only if you carry passengers for hire. But it's a sign to all that you Da Man. You must be able to prove one year of experience, three months of which must be within the last three years. Plus, you'll have to pass tests on Rules of the Road, charting, seamanship, and safety.
• Own a Perfectly Broken-in Pair of Boat Shoes It usually takes a full season of salt spray, clamming in the mud, and changing the oil. Once that's done, it's heaven for the feet for another four or five years. Appropriate candidates come from Sperry, Timberland, and Sebago. Cheap imports give you away as a wannabe-to be shunned by all.
• Take (and Pass With Flying Colors) a Safe Boating Course This shows you had the good sense to get some formal training in the basics. Also good for the insurance premiums, which typically go down by 5 percent.
• Learn to Tie a Bowline Left-handed, right-handed, and with your eyes closed. This is the world's most useful knot. For an animated demonstration, go to www.tollesburysc.co.uk/Knots/Knots_gallery. It's a blast.
• Become a BOATING Boat Tester Blood, sweat, and gears. It's not all sun and fun. You'll need years of experience, and you'll wind up putting in hours crawling around hot bilges and snooping under deck fittings. But it's better than your current job by a nautical mile.
• Make a Coastal Passage Going offshore is thrilling. Especially when you don't throw up. Learn to use your depthsounder as a navigational tool. Charts show sounding lines that you can either follow or use to turn an approximate position into a fix.
• Participate in a Poker Run You and a bunch of other crazies in mega-fast boats run like mad to find five checkpoints where you pick up a playing card. The boat with the best hand at the end wins. Why go fast? No one knows, but it sure is fun. Call Poker Run America (905/624-8218) for this season's schedule.
• Introduce a Friend to Boating Share the experience. Show someone your world and see her take to it like a fish to water.
• Go to a Boat Show With Cash Looking for the deal of a lifetime on the radar or GPS you've always wanted? The last day of the show is best. This is when the real bargains can be had and Ca$h Is King. Find out the where and when of any show at www.boatsafloat.com.
