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Bee Beard Man Thistledew Farm, Proctor, WV 800/854-6639, www.thistledewfarm.com Stop by the Shadyside Marina on the Ohio River and head to the Thistledew farm for its famous honey and a visit with clean-shaven owner Steve Conlon. Ask nicely and he'll put a queen bee in a tiny box on his chin and wait for her hive mates to form a massive bee beard. Conlon was once stung more than 50 times while demonstrating his "talent" on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. Big Blue Bug 161 O'Connell St., Providence, RI 888/258-3284, www.bigbluebug.com Crowning the top of the New England Pest Control Building is a 58'-by-9' termite. At almost 1,000 times the size of the real thing, the Providence landmark-affectionately named Nibbles Woodaway-is decorated with hats and props to celebrate holidays and events. Tie up at one of Providence's many docks, including the Downtown Marina.
National Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame 10360 Hall of Fame Dr., Hayward, WI 715/634-4440, www.freshwater-fishing.org The fiberglass muskie is half a block long and four stories tall, enough to lure in any angler. Enter the open mouth and find yourself on an observation deck, surrounded by more than 5,000 lures, rods, reels, outboard motors, hooks, and of course, fish. Head outside for a photo op that will fool onlookers into believing you reeled in a big one. Dock at Round Lake Marina.
Jules' Undersea Lodge 51 Shoreland Dr., Key Largo, FL 305/451-2353, www.jul.com Hop off your boat and right into the water to stay for the night. This hotel, built in a 30'-deep lagoon, shares its space with an underwater research facility. Certified scuba divers will love the continuous air supply that lets you spend as long as you want in this underwater retreat. A mer-chef even dives down and serves a gourmet dinner, or you can catch your own. Dock at Key Largo's Emerald Lagoon.
Stark's Vacuum Cleaner Museum 107 NE Grand Ave., Portland, OR 800/230-4101, www.starks.com Tie up at Portland's Riverplace Marina and head to a museum that spans 100 years of vacuuming history. Models ranging from the original hand-pumped version to the more modern super-sucking Hoovers are on display, as is the story of night janitor James Spangler, the inventor of the original vacuum cleaner.
John Milkovisch's Beer-Can House 222 Malone St., Houston, TX 713/926-6368, www.orangeshow.org And you thought you drank a lot of beer. Starting in 1968, the late John Milkovisch began to decorate the exterior of his house with beer cans, working at a rate of more than a six-pack a day for 18 years. Pull-tab garlands adorn the windows, the fencing uses whole cans, and the aluminum siding is made from flattened cans. Fortunately for John's wife, the interior of the house remained can-free. Ripley's Believe It or Not estimates that John drank more than 50,000 cans of beer while redecorating. Tie up on South Houston's Trinity Bay.
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Lobster Calling Redondo Beach, CA 310/376-6911, www.lobsterfestival.com Every September boaters tie up at the Redondo Beach Marina and throw their pride overboard at the annual Lobster Festival. They chant, rant, and rave as they call in the lobsters, just like fisherman did many years ago at the start of season. If you don't feel like embarrassing yourself but don't mind humbling your cruising canine, dress him up like a lobster and show him off in the Lobster-Dog Pet Parade.
Mid-Atlantic Hermit Crab Challenge Virginia Beach, VA 757/491-7866, www.beacheventsfun.com A beauty contest for hermit crabs? And you thought it couldn't get any weirder. Each July you can dock at Rudee's Inlet Station Marina and then glam your crab to compete in the Miss Curvaceous Crustacean Beauty Pageant. Want more? Enter your crab in the Crustacean 500, a race to see which will be the first to claw its way from an inner circle to an outer. All contestants are then put up for adoption.
National Baby Food Festival Fremont, MI 231/924-0770, www.nbff.org If your wife ever told you to stop acting like a baby, you may finally be able to shut her up. In July you can head to the home of Gerber for a baby-food-eating contest. Adults try to feed blindfolded adults the most jars of baby food in the least amount of time. Want more fun? Race tricycles, compete in diaper-changing contests, and enter Junior in a baby crawl race. Dock your boat at any number of marinas in Whitehall, which is only minutes away, and don't forget your bib.
