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Balance Your Rod and Your Relationship

November 1, 2000

Did you miss the entire bluefin season because of family obligations? Do you get the cold shoulder after hugging a warm wahoo? Then you need to read, learn, and live by The Ultimate Angler’s Guide to Relationship Management.

Rule #1: Plan your wedding date well. Don’t forget, you’ll be committed on that day for the rest of your life. Never get married on, say, opening day of the spring trophy striper season.

Rule #2: Practice safe sex… until late February or early March. If conception occurs then, your bundle of joy will be born in late November or early December, and you’ll have four whole months to do baby duty before fishing season starts up again. However, if birth occurs in April, you’ll be stuck indoors during prime time. Adjust the target date as necessary, depending on your local climate and favorite fishing seasons.

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Rule #3: Never downsize the boat you’re thinking of buying to placate a spouse. This will lead to resentment, which could trigger divorce, which may mean your spouse gets the boat.

Rule #4: Keep boating costs low to prevent money from becoming a fishing issue. There are many ways to save. Siphon the gas out of your spouse’s car and use it to top off the boat’s tanks, for example.

And for you nonangling spouses, remember: Add two hours to the estimated length of every fishing trip, two feet to the waves encountered, and two months to every home-improvement project. You may want us to give you accurate information, but it’s not possible – our brains just don’t work that way.

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