News Brief

Fish Fry...Almost. When a burning candle left in a schoolroom in Minnesota started a fire, Dory, the class fish, helped put it out-well, kind of. The heat caused her fishbowl to crack, and the water extinguished the blaze. Thankfully, about an inch of water remained and Dory survived.

Crustacean Cryonics. Trufresh, a company in the frozen fish business, applied its freezing techniques to live lobsters, with startling, if inconsistent, results. The lobsters, frozen in a chemical brine solution for several minutes at -40°F, came back to life when thawed. Out of 200 lobsters, 12 survived the treatment but none lived overnight.

Fin and Tonic. Fluoxetine, the active ingredient in the antidepressant Prozac, was found in-ironically-bluegills in a Texas lake. The substance, which likely comes from toilet-tossed Prozac or users' urine, passed through the waste treatment plant there. The amount found in the fish is below therapeutic levels. A toxicologist claims that if fish received an increased dosage, they'd feel the same mood-lifting effects as humans.

Fake Wake Mistake. When radios in Gypsum broadcast an emergency tsunami warning, followed by a plea for immediate evacuation, residents-laughed. Gypsum, Colorado, elevation 6,334 feet, sits about 1,500 miles from the Pacific Ocean. During a routine test, someone in the county's communications center accidentally played the emergency broadcast, which is fake and intentionally preposterous, so if a broadcasting error occurs, residents won't panic.

Sea God Glorified. NASA-funded researchers recently discovered a planet-like object in the far reaches of our solar system. With -400°F temperatures, it's too cold for boating, or even water, yet researchers named it Sedna, after the Inuit goddess of the sea. According to legend, Sedna's husband threatened to capsize her father's boat, so her father, in trying to save himself, pushed her overboard into frigid waters. Sedna grasped the side of his boat, but he chopped off her fingers, sending them into the sea where they became mammals under her control.